Divergent Skits
by Emmabethwritingfanfiction
Summary: Me: skits. Erudite: for what category? Candor: Look at the archive idiot. Amity: Saying idiot is not kind. Candor: Well, neither is your face! Abnegation: Sticking up for yourself is self indulgent. Me: These are obviously skits based on Divergent. Please read and review.
1. Chapter 1

Skit:

a/n: Hey party people! I had a computer malfunction, and it deleted the last chapter. I decided to just do a little disclaimer skit, which will suffice for the whole story. Review if you think that this is funny. Also, this is a disclaimer, I don't own Divergent.

Me: Uriah, would you rather go a whole week without cake or do the disclaimer?

Uriah, Do the disclaimer, duh.

Me, Uriah, Candor or Dauntless?

Uriah: Dauntless. Duh dumbass!

Me: Do the disclaimer for me.

Uriah: Okay. Never have I ever owned Divergent.

Veronica Roth: *puts down finger*.

Everyone else: *Still has all fingers remaining*.

Zeke: Come on bro! Cheap one!

Uriah: *punches Zeke in the shoulder and tells him to shut the fuck up*.

Veronica Roth: *eye roll*.

Everyone excluding me and Veronica: *eye roll and laugh*.

Me: *laughs really hard at the look on Zeke's face*.

Zeke and Uriah: What? *look really confused for a minute, then shrug, and go about their day as if that didn't even happen.*

Me: You guys are really weird.

Uriah: Blame Veronica!

Me: I try not to assign blame to anyone but the party guilty.

Zeke: Huh? *looks really confused*.

Tris: It means it's not Veronica's fault that you're so weird, it's you're fault.

Veronica Roth: Thanks Emmabeth, and Tris, for translating.

Uriah: I knew what it meant, Zeke is just stupid!

Zeke: *punches Uriah*.

*ressling match breaks out*

Me and Veronica: *meet eyes, and eye roll, plus try not to laugh at the comic attempt at a ressling match unfolding before us*.

Everyone else: *can't hold in laughter*.

a/n: So, I hope you liked it. I, personally, thought it was pretty funny. Review if you thought so. A real chapter will be out soon, promises! See ya!

Emmabeth.


	2. Skit 2

Math Class

a/n: Hey party people! I'm back with a new skit. I hope you enjoy it.

Teacher: What is 3y-2x?

Erudite: It's known as an "algebraic equasion."

Teacher: Good job.

Dauntless: It's called "you add some numbers to the alphabet in order to make life hard."

Erudite: This class rocks! Dauntless just wants to be as smart as we are.

Candor: Oh, shut up. Your just jealous that Dauntless get the cake, and we get the ice cream. All you get is books. And most of the books that you do get are textbooks.

Erudite: Cake and ice cream will give you diabetes.

Candor: If you are so smart, then you would know that that is not a true statement.

Amity: Mrs. Holt, I'm stuck on number twelve.

Abnegation: *gets up to help Amity*.

a/n: I hope you enjoy this. If I get three reviews by 8:30 P.M. tomorrow, I will update again. See ya!

Emmabeth.


	3. Skit 3

Christmas

Abnegation: Let's make cookies for the factionless.

Dauntless; Let's pretend to be Santa Clause and go down the chimneys!

Amity: Let's go Christmas Caroling!

Erudite: Let's study the old Christmas stories and try to find symbolism!

Candor: Merry Christmas, little kids! And by the way, Santa is your parents!

Divergent: Let's make cookies, go caroling, and read the Christmas stories!

a/n: I hope you enjoyed this skit. If I can get seven reviews, I'll update again! See ya!

Emmabeth.


	4. Skit 4

Skit

Cafeteria

Dauntless: food fight! *begin throwing food at each other*

Amity: Food fights are not kind.

Daunless: Who gives a damn?

Candor: Nobody does. But you are really assholes.

Abnegation: Let's help the cafeteria ladies clean up after the Dauntless.

Erudite: Food fights are illogical.

Candor: So is wearing glasses when you can see clearly.

Abnegation: Arguing is selfish.

Candor: I hate Abnegation! Even arguing is selfish! What's next? Is breathing selfish too?

Erudite; That's illogical. Even the most selfless people need to breathe.

Amity: Judging people is not kind.

Abnegation: Let us wipe down the tables for the janitors.

Cafeteria manager: Lunch is over! Back to class!

a/n: I'll release a part two tomorrow. See ya!

Emmabeth.


	5. Chapter 5

Cafeteria part two

Cafeteria Manager: Erudite, library books are not allowed in here. Please put it in your locker.

Cafeteria Manager: Candor, quiet down! You are being extremely loud.

Cafeteria manager: It's okay, Abnegation. We've got the tables. Thanks though.

Cafeteria manager: Dauntless! Stop throwing food!

Cafeteria manager: Amity, stop playing with each others' hair. It's gross to do at the table.

a/n: So, I hope you enjoyed this skit. Leave me a nice little review to let me know. Thanks! See ya!

Emmabeth.


	6. Chapter 6

Library:

Erudite: let us study and learn new things.

Abnegation: Let us reshelf the booksand push in chairs and clean off tables for the library workers.

Candor; Let's look up stuff for debate team.

Dauntless: Let's practice our pitching with books.

Amity: Let us set out potted plants here.

Librarian: Erudite, Candor, Abnegation and Amity, thank you. Dauntless, I hope you know where all those books came from, because you are going to put them right back where you found them.

a/n: I promise to try and write more, now that I have a working computer. Anyway, I have to update twenty-four more, so yeah. See ya!

Emmabeth.


	7. skit

Birthday

Amity: Let's bake cake and sing songs.

Abnegation: Let us give the factionless our birthday cake.

Dauntless: Let's have a birthday party with cake, friends, dangerous activities, and presents.

Candor: Happy birthday kids! And, just so you know, you are getting old.

Erudite: Happy birthday! Now, back to work.

a/n: I just need to say a few things. Firstly, I have a SYOC on my profile, so if you don't mind going to Dauntless Iniciation, and filling out the form according to the rules, I'd really appreciate it. Second, I'm running out of ideas, so please submit some more for me. Lastly, thanks to all my readers, reviewers, favoriters, and followers. Please review! Thanks and see ya!

Emmabeth.


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